We've all heard the phrase, "He who dies with the most toys wins." Today I heard, "She with the most friends wins." In the context in which it was spoken, it made me laugh. Then it made me think.
I have a dear friend who always adds a little bit 'more.' On paper, it's one more flourish or swirl here or there. Especially when it comes to home decor, she almost always adds 'more'. But we have started to joke about it a bit, because we've come to find out that more isn't always more. Sometimes 'more' takes away from what we really want the focal point to be.
When it comes to friends, I agree that it's fun to have a lot. After all, you can never have too many people to love you. Having lived the first half of my life in California, I have a whole set of friends that live there. I have another set of friends from church, another from work, another from a Bible Study I attend. I'm thankful for each one of them.
However, I would still have to contend that more is not always more. I believe we are each extremely fortunate if we can have even one handful of true friends. I hope you know the kind. The kind that is your biggest cheerleader, that would be there in great times as well as bad, that would always forgive you and still think the best of you. The kind that really does have your back.
I have two friends from California that have endured the test of decades and distance. One now lives in Arizona; the other in Texas. Rhonda is in Texas. She was my first roommate as I moved away from home to seek my independence when I was 18. We have kept in touch off and on through the years. She called me a few years ago when her son died tragically in a car accident. We cried together and talked for two hours. It was as if there had never been distance or time lapsed between us. Mary lives in Arizona. We also met when I was in college. We went to church together and eventually, lived across the hallway from each other (after Rhonda got married and I moved out). We loved doing life together. She was the maid of honor in my wedding. At times, we have gone years without picking up a phone and talking to each other. But when I saw her in September, it was as if she was my closest friend all along. We decided then, however, to do a better job at keeping in touch.
I have two more such friends in Kansas. They have stood the test of years. We have done life together… celebrating graduations, weddings, and babies and sharing the sadness of health challenges, teenagers gone astray and the loss of loved ones. They are the kind that I am pretty sure would do anything for me, as I would for them. They are the two that emerge from the woodwork and continue to be there for me no matter what I am walking through. I love all my friends but am especially thankful for these four. If they were my only friends, I would feel extremely rich and blessed to have them as part of my life.
And so I realize what I knew all along. More is not always more.
Less can truly be more and one real friend can truly be enough.
Wishing you enough…