Words Carefully Chosen

      I was going to be so good about writing.  Perhaps you can relate to good intentions not yet realized.  This week, this is what I have realized.  Writing reflects my heart. Though I wouldn't change that fact, it makes it difficult to write when my heart or mind (or both!) is a muddled mess. 

     Quite honestly, I have been preoccupied with the challenges of a strained relationship with a daughter who finds herself in less than ideal circumstances. Each night, instead of laying down to rest, I lie down and run a myriad of conversations with her in my head. They are not the conversations we have had. They are the conversations I want to have. I do not see her often so I want to be ready. Ready with the right words. Words that convey a strong exhortation, as well as reassurance of my love. It is a difficult mix. I learned this week that such nighttime ponderings are generally a fruitless use of time and lots of emotional energy.

     I run those words through my mind because I am scared of saying words that may scar for a lifetime. I have been the recipient of such words. I know the damage they can do.  You may too. I finally see this daughter of mine, after nearly a week. The conversation is not confrontational. She is not defensive. I come alongside. I try to encourage. I suggest she move out. We discuss the timeframe of these next couple months. I will be on a tour to Nova Scotia for 18 days. When I return from that, I will help move our other daughter to California.  We talk about when and how and where. How to find a roommate, how she wants to decorate her apartment. Oh, and did I mention she wants to go back to school for her Master's?  I tell her I would be happy to help her with it all.  I offer help with a resume. I still believe in her; still know the gifts and abilities that she has been blessed with. She is hesitatant to accept help. Then she wouldn't be "independent." {smiles} I leave it on the table. She knows where to find me.

     The conversation was not all that I had hoped it would be, but I rested well last night. No possible conversations traipsing through this head of mine. I rested knowing also that words were not wielded as weapons. No hurt was incurred. Words were used to communicate possibilites and leave the door open for future discussions.

     I am mindful that my book proposal was about finding abundance in the midst of life's messes and even crisis. I seem to be put to the test quite often.  So…abundance is… extending grace to others as it has been extended to me, hope for the future, words carefully chosen, new possibilities, renewing communication, redeeming the day, Jenna getting to be a part of volunteer efforts in Joplin, having an advocate in CA and temperatures in the 80's!

May Grace and Peace be Yours in Abundance!


About debbierivers

I love to share what I can whenever I can. My goal is to live simply and love lavishly. I enjoy inspiring others with my writing. I am married to Steve and am the mother to two beautiful daughters, Hannah and Jenna, and grandmother to Kinsley. My desire is to encourage and to bless others through my life and my words.
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1 Response to Words Carefully Chosen

  1. Chris Franco says:

    debbie, you’ve been such an inspiration. I’ll miss your posts. I have rough conversations with my daughter, and she’s only 15. It will get better, right?
    Blessings to you friend!!

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